Julia

Eugene

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:33:04 GMT

Now we (Drew and I) have a room in Eugene, Oregon! I don't know how long we'll be here though because we're trying to find a farm to live on in exchange for work. Right now, I'm just happy to have a bed, bathroom, and kitchen again. I get up at 8am every day now to drive Drew across town to class, and then I get coffee somewhere new on my way home (wherever "home" is at the time). Anyway, I thought it would be cool to post pictures of the house we moved into. It's way nicer than the last house, even though our room is half the size. At least we're not living with 7 other people!

Shattered glass!

News

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 04:34:39 GMT

+ I'm off Xanax for the first time in 5 years.
+ I finally watched The Big Lebowski. With White Russians!
+ My relationship with Drew is still going really well!
+ We're planning on moving to Oregon for the summer.
+ Everybody has been scoring good stuff at the free store.

+/- I got a job at The Evergreen State College Childcare Center.

- I still feel fat. None of my old clothes fit.
- I've been spending a lot of money on groceries and alcohol.
- House drama. It's tiring living in a house with 7 other people.
- I have to spend money to get to work. An all-day bus pass costs $1.50.
- I like cigarettes every once in a while. Especially splifs (sp?).

1. Have you ever showered with someone?
Yep. Save water!

2. Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
I haven't talked to him since I last saw him, which was New Year's. He lives on the East Coast and I live on the West Coast, and we haven't really kept in touch. We were good friends for a while though.

3. If you could kiss someone at this moment, who would it be?
Drew.

4. Does a kiss make you feel better when you're angry?
It depends on why I'm angry...

5. Are you doing this just because you're bored?
Yep.

6. What is bothering you right now?
I'm nervous about work tomorrow.

7. Was last New Year's enjoyable?
I think so. Mushrooms and whiskey.

8. Do you miss anyone at the moment?
Yep.

9. And where might they be?
At class.

10. Can you type over 60 words per minute?
Probably.

11. Are you high?
Nope.

12. McDonalds or KFC?
Neither.

13. What time is it?
After 9pm.

14. What is your desktop picture?

15. Can you swim well?
I haven't gone swimming in a long time! I probably can't swim very well.

16. Where do you think your best friend is right now?
I don't think I really have a best friend right now.

17. And what are they doing?
...

18. Do you believe in ghosts?
No. They keep coming up in conversation lately though.

19. Would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris?
Neither.

20. Do you have a guitar in your house?
Several. None of them are mine though.

21. Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Not really, but I wish someone else were here with me.

22. How long can you go without your mobile phone?
I could go forever if I didn't have to talk to anyone.

23. Do you have any enemies?
No.

24. Ever kissed a blonde haired, blue eyed person?
Yes.

25. Who last called you babe/baby?
Drew.

26. What last made you sad?
Stress/anxiety.

27. Would you be able to date someone who had a kid with someone else?
Sure, but luckily that's not the case.

28. Is the person you last kissed younger than you?
Noooo. Older by 4 years.

29. Do you know anyone called Lucy?
No...?

30. What's the best way to say I love you?
I don't know yet.

31. What's the worst way to say I love you?
With a gift like a diamond ring or something else that doesn't take any thought.

32. What are you doing tomorrow?
Getting up at 7am to work from 8 to 4:30 in a kitchen, doing dishes and serving food to children. I didn't apply for this job, they just assigned me to it and I said OK.

Handstand Haus

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 23:28:40 GMT

Temporary outdoor kitchen

Temporary housemates

The front porch:

The room I share with Drew:

In the Alley

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 06:09:49 GMT

I took a little walk after the rain stopped yesterday. This is as far as I got before I ran into one of the neighbors, Royal, who helped me carry milk crates back to the house.

Survey time!

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:40:32 GMT

Stolen from scapeghost :)

1. Four months from now, will you be a in relationship?
If things keep going the way they are right now, probably!

2. What color are your eyes?
Mostly brown, but with a little green and gold sometimes.

3. What's your name?
Julia Desertspring.

4. Do you smoke weed?
Yes.

5. What in the world are you listening to?
The washing machine at the bottom of the stairs and a few cars driving by outside my window.

6. Are you married?
No.

7. Have you ever told someone you loved them and meant it?
Yes.

8. Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't do?
Probably, but they must not have told me ecause I don’t remember anything specific.

9. Last phone call received?
My housemate Mary called asking where our other housemate is.

10. Do you miss anyone?
I miss my mom but I’m going to see her in a few days!!

11. How are you feeling?
Pretty good, all around. I feel at home finally.

12. What are you wearing right now?
Straight jeans, a green t-shirt with a blue flower on it, a fuzzy Patagonia pullover, a pony tail, and my pink plastic glasses. And underwear and a bra.

13. Are you mad at anyone?
Nope.

14. How is your hair?
Kind of brittle right now. I haven’t been paying much attention to caring for it. I just pull it back to get it out of my face. It’s really long too, about halfway down my back.

15. Whats the closest thing to you thats brown?
My new desk!! (new to me at least).

16. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Once that I remember.

17. Do you like your first name?
I do like it.

18. Do you like to cuddle?
Not all the time, but it is nice to share a bed for warmth. It’s strange sleeping alone.

19. Are you looking forward to being in a relationship with someone?
I’m finally in a really good relationship right now.

20. Are you happy right now?
Pretty much.

21. What is your biggest fear?
That people are judging me based on the fact that my life has no path.

22. What are two things you've learned recently?
1. There is Vitamin C in milk.
2. Drew (my boyfriend?!) really cares about me! It makes me giddy.

23. Last person you laughed at?
My housemate Super Steve. He has the habit of disappearing for a few hours, and the rest of us came to the conclusion that he’s saving the world. So it’s funny to see him coming up the sidewalk on his bike, looking all triumphant. I think I’m going to sew him a cape.

24. What are you excited about?
Going to visit my mom.

25. Last person to tell you they love you?
Probably my mom.

26. What's the last thing you ate?
Bunny Grahams!

27. The last person to pick you up from somewhere?
My dad came down to pick me up a couple weekends ago to help him paint a little barn/apartment/workshop he’s renting.

28. Last thing you cried over?
General hopelessness. It was a few weeks ago though.

29. Are you confused about anything right now?
Not really.

30. Do you have any siblings?
One brother who just turned 22 yesterday.

31. Where do you want to live when you're older?
I’m really into Washington, actually. It seems pretty perfect for me and I’ve only been here for a couple months. I can’t wait to see Summer!

32. What is your favorite color?
I tend to gravitate toward maroon or any shade of red/purple.

33. Do you have a friend with the first letter of their name "K"?
My brother’s name is Keith.

34. What’s your relationship with the last person you texted?
Andrew is the guy I came out here on the train with and lived in his house for three weeks until I found this room to move into. We were sort of together in December but we’re not eachother’s type at all, so now we’re just casual friends.

35. Was today a good day?
I think so. I didn’t really do anything though, but at least nothing bad happened.

Everyone Loves Childhood Pictures!

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 13:33:39 GMT

Age 4, nice&naughty

My family at my grandparents' house in CA.
That's me in the tie dye tank top.
My grandpa still wears those cool white socks with his shorts...

My brother and I don't dress this cool anymore :(

My cousin, Rosebud, and I at a Rainbow Gathering.
I'm in the tie dye, as usual.

Our mom really had a knack for making aweful/awesome costumes.
Unfortunately, the only "costume" piece I'm wearing is the dinosaur hat.
The checkered jacket was seriously how I dressed on a daily basis.

Just a couple more examples of my creative style as a youngster (I still have that pink bandana and use it all the time).
And proof of my love of black licorice, and mixing stripes with polka-dots.

You guys should comment/post some of your childhood photos!

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:44:11 GMT

My mom sent me these pictures of the snow that has been piling up back in IL.

My car!

Meanwhile, the weather here has been beautiful. Today is the first cloudy day in at least a week, but it's still not cold enough to need a jacket. The day before yesterday, I went hiking with two of my housemates, Mary and Joseph, and the guy I'm dating, Drew. We drove to the woods at Evergreen and then hiked down to the beach. It was beautiful. I need to start taking pictures of all these little adventures...

Getting Nowhere

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:58:29 GMT

I don't want to get up today. It's not that I'm just too comfortable or that there's nothing I have to do today, because I'm in a sleeping bag on the floor and I need to find a job, it's that I don't want to face the responsibilities of being awake. Last night all five of the people living in this house were here, so we tried to have a house meeting. It ended up with a lot of personal issues, personal attacks, and hurt feelings. I don't want to go downstairs and pretend I don't care that two of my own housemates ganged up on me last night about a sensitive subject.

I'm going back to Illinois with my dad on a plane for the last week of March. It's not for a while, but I'm really excited to see my mom. I'm trying so hard to be strong and not have an emotional breakdown. Some nights it feels impossible and I go to my room early and cry into my pillow.

I've decided, without knowing my actual current weight, that I need to lose some weight. My favorite jeans are too tight to button comfortably. I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day and hot chocolate more than once a day. It must be adding up across my waist.

Things I Need to Do
get a job
get a bed (if I want to stay in this house)
lose enough weight for my pants to fit
clean the blood off the carpet
think harder about what my life is to me
make some decisions

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 20:55:04 GMT

1. Was your last kiss a mistake?
Nope, it was a "see you soon" kiss.

2. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Not really hard, but two days ago on the phone with my mom.

3. If the world was to end tomorrow, what would you be doing right now?
Spending a lot of money to go home to Rockford to see my mom.

4. What was the last thing you heard?
Someone is doing laundry, and before that, someone was sewing something on the machine outside my room.

5. What is bothering you right now?
I'm on my period and it's too warm inside my sleeping bag to consider getting out and going to the bathroom.

6. Do you think slavery was wrong?
Yes...? What kind of a question is that!

7. Have you ever seen somebody get shot?
By paintballs, yeah. By bullets, maybe on TV.

8. When was the last time you got into a physical fight?
My brother and I pretty much stopped fighting when we hit the teenage years.

9. Who do you tell everything to?
My journal and my mom, usually.

10. Have you ever taken a picture in a bathroom?
Yeah.

11. Do you use big words?
I've been using the word "substantial" a lot lately. At least once a day. People are probably starting to notice.

12. Have you ever been called a 'slut' or 'manwhore'?
I don't know. Not to my face and hopefully not behind my back.

13. Where are you?
In my sleeping bag, in my room, upstairs in a house on the West side of Olympia.

14. Does your head hurt?
No, but my neck kind of does.

15. Favorite #?
3 is a pretty good number.

16. Have you ever rented out a hotel room?
Not my myself, but on family vacations and whatnot.

17. Have you ever injected a drug?
Not that I remember.

18. When was the last time you saw your father?
I went up to visit him Sunday-Monday.

19. Name a lyric from the song you're listening to?
No music!

20. Do you use your friends?
That's what friends are for!

22. Do you fight with your parents often?
Not anymore.

23. Where is the shirt you're wearing from?
My t-shirt is my mom's from college and my sweater is from Goodwill a few years ago.

24.Have you ever been in a car accident?
Nothing major.

25. Where do you feel most safe?
When a good person is giving me a hug with both arms.

26. Do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace?
Haha, no.

27. The thing that was bothering you before, is it still bothering you?
Yeah, about the same.

28. How often do you shower?
I like to shower every night but don't always get the chance.

29. Do you know anyone with cancer?
Not presently, but I know people who have had it in the past.

30. Do you have any picture frames in your room?
Nope, nothing on the walls actually. Except for a clothesline to dry my wool socks on.

31. Where did you spend Valentines Day?
Planned Parenthood. Not cool. But everything's okay.

32. Ever smoked a cigarette?
Not a whole one.

34. Has anyone ever saved your life?
That's too tough to answer or even think about right now.

35. The screename you have now, was it your first screename?
Nope.

36. Do you get good grades?
I'm not in school right now because I got bad grades.

37. Have you ever been intoxicated twice in one week?
Way more than that.

38. Do you know a secret about anybody?
Probably.

39. Who cooks dinner in your home?
There are 5 of us and we kind of cook for ourselves.

40. Did you ever go to a special learning center?
No.

41. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
No, I'm not that into piercings.

42. Does a kiss make you feel better?
Maybe.

43. Ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
Only once. I don't reccomend it.

44. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
Before. I hate getting blasted with cold water when I'm already cold because I just took all my warm clothes off!

46. Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
Sometimes.

47. Have you ever thought about your death?
Almost too much sometimes.

48. Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
It depends.

49. Have you ever had stitches?
Once on my lip when I was three or four because my brother pushed a swing at me too hard, and once when I was seven because I had a lump removed from my scalp.

50. How long ago did you hug someone?
Monday night.

52. What are you doing this weekend?
There might be a circus-themed party at the house, but we're not sure yet because one of the housemates isn't down for the idea. I'm sure there's going to be some sort of party either way though.

55. Whats your favorite cereal?
Any kind of granola.

56. Have you ever had an Oreo with peanut butter on it?
I used to eat those a lot.

57. What are you doing today?
Whatever I want. Probably take a walk after I eat and go pick up some job applications at the shopping mall down the street. I might ride my bike too.

58. Where’s your favorite place to be?
Somewhere warm and safe.

59. What's your favorite song?
This is such a bad question. Who can really answer it?

60. Are you more of a coffee or tea drinker?
I'm a hot chocolate addict.

61. Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
No, but I've seen some shoes on telephone wires that I would wear if I could get them down.

62. Have you ever climbed up a water tower?
Nope.

63. Have you ever been arrested?
When I was 16.

64. Do you dream in black and white?
Not that I remember.

65. Do you talk in your sleep?
Not that I know of.

68. Funniest thing you heard?
Oh, I don't know!

69. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Just before I moved.

70. What are you afraid of?
The purpose of life.

71. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"You will change your mind."

My New Life

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 23:19:17 GMT

My new life here has been amazing. New experiences and different people every day. I got very lucky finding such a great place to stay! I finally feel like I am part of something, even if I don't know what it is yet, there's something.

New Experiences:
1. getting sick from drinking too much Tequila
2. potluck dinners
3. going to Portland for a bike show
4. dumpstering a whole box of fruits
5. a Chinese New Year's party
6. going to a sauna and feeling so refreshed afterwards
7. rain, rain, rain, and really appreciating the sun when it does come out

My mom sent me this picture of her holding my rabbit back home in Illinois.
I miss them both so much.

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 22:07:57 GMT

Now I have a bike and a place to live! I move into this house on the first of February! That's my bedroom window.

Next, I'll get a job.

Things are looking up

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:32:14 GMT

Vintage 70's Free Spirit 5 speed ($40)

Sweet. Now I just need a job and a place to call home.

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 06:29:05 GMT

Now I live on a floor in Olympia, Washington. It sounds more romantic when I write about it, but really, I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why I'm anywhere! Life has changed drastically in some ways and stayed all to much the same in others. I can't wait for Summer.

good luck

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 09:01:25 GMT

1. Finding a ladybug settled in my hair.

2. Finding the money I thought I'd lost in the snow. It fell out from between the pages of my journal, and now I remember that's where I put it in the first place.

3. Three new racerbacks in pretty colors, on sale for $4 each. Black, teal, and raspberry.

4. Baking sugar cookies for the first time by myself and having them turn out well. Even though all the heart-shaped ones broke apart, the little pieces still taste just as good.

Two Hours

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 13:37:23 GMT

Lately a lot of things have taken two hours to complete:
- Making pancakes (failed attempt)
- Borders with Mom (I'm studying palmistry)
- Baking pumpkin chocolate chip bread (always worth the wait)
- Taking a bath (getting lost in a book)
- Talking on the phone (better than sleeping)

Winter is here

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 09:32:29 GMT

Babysitting. Paper snowflakes. New jeans. First snow. Thanksgiving dinner. Clearing out more of the things we don't need.

9 lasts

1. cigarette: Never.
2. beverage: I had hot cocoa at the bookstore tonight.
3. kiss: Almost two months ago.
4. hug: My mom a few times a day.
5. movie seen: I don't remember, but I want to see Into the Wild.
6. cd played: My Morning Jacket "Ch. 2 Learning"
7. song listened to: Tyrone
8. bubble bath: No bubbles, but a few days ago I took a bath.
9. time you cried: Almost two weeks ago.

8 have you evers

1. dated one of your best friends: No.
2. skinny dipped: Once, in a lake earlier this year.
3. kissed somebody and regretted it: I don't regret anything, I just wouldn't do it again.
4. fallen in love: Yes.
5. lost someone you loved: Yes, but life does eventually go on.
6. been depressed: Yes.
7. been drunk and thrown up: Nope, I'm like a tank when I drink.
8. run away: No.

6 things you've done today

1. Showered.
2. Ate chocolate mousse from Thanksgiving.
3. Went to Target and Old Navy for the sales.
4. Went to Borders with my mom.
5. Watched some ANTM.
6. Began transforming my old knee-high boots into Mary Jane heels with a ribbon around the ankle to hold them on.

5 favorite things in no order

1. Long hair.
2. My worn-out jeans.
3. The Grateful Dead.
4. Feeling appreciated.
5. Being alone but not lonely.

4 people you last talked to

1. My mom.
2. My dad.
3. An old regular at the bookstore.
4. Myself?

3 wishes

1. To have a good, solid friend or two.
2. To finish a book cover to cover.
3. To be satisfied with life when I'm very old.

2 things you want to be when you grow up

1. A mother.
2. Happy, or content.

1 thing you wish you could either change or fix.

1. I wish people would stop trying to change other people. (You can only change yourself).

(images from Lula Magazine @ www.lulamag.com)

Songs & Videos

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 11:42:15 GMT

Here are the songs I've been listening to a lot lately. I don't know how to use yousendit.com and don't know how to pay for things online anyway, but I think videos take songs to a whole 'nother level.

Devendra Banhart - "The Body Breaks"
The body breaks and the body is fine
I'm open to yours and I'm open to mine
The body aches and that ache takes it time
But you'll get over yours and I'll get over mine
And the sun will shine
And the moon will rise
The body calls
Yeah the body it calls out
It whispers at first but it ends with a shout
The body burns
Yeah the body burns strong
Until mine is with yours
Then mine will burn on
My flesh sings out
It sings honey come put me out
The body sways like the wind on a swing
A bridge through a hoop
Or a lake through a ring
The body stays and then the body moves on
And I'd really rather not dwell on when yours will be gone
But within the dark
There is a shine
One tiny spark
That's yours and mine

Great Lake Swimmers - "Song for the Angels"
The echo to your yell
The ripple to your dive
The currents under your wave

Electricity flows through me
I send it out to you
We were charged with the founding poles
Of a million years, a million years
Before us, have trembled in their fears

Never saw you, never heard you
But I knew that you where there
Everywhere
I could feel you all around me

I know that I am just a grain of sand
Meeting water at the land
We could make our castles here
And sweep them all away

I know that I am just a drop of water
Frozen into ice on the stormy earth
Who gave us birth
Over and over in cycles, lovely cycles

Never saw you, never heard you
But I knew that you were there
Everywhere
I could feel you all around me

The Verve - "History"
I wander lonely streets
Behind where the old Thames does flow
And in every face I meet
Reminds me of what I have run from

In every man, in every hand
In every kiss, you understand
That living is for other men
I hope you two will understand

I've got to tell you my tale
Of how I loved and how I failed
I hope you understand
These feelings should not be in the man

In every child, in every eye
In every sky above my head
I hope that I know
So come with me in bed
Because it's you and me, we're history
There ain't nothing left to say
When I will get you alone

Maybe we could find a room
Where we could see what we should do
Maybe you know it's true
Living with me is like keeping a fool

In every man, in every hand
In every kiss, you understand
That living is for other men
I hope you know that I am me so come on
I'm thinking about history
And I'm living for history
And I think you know about me
Cause I am

And one and one is two
But three is company
When you're thinking about the things you do
And you're thinking about the things you do
I want to tell you my tale
How I fell in love and jumped out on my bail
Do you understand there's more in a smile than in a hand
In every sky, in every kiss
There's something that you might have missed

Why am I going to
A place that now belongs to you
But you were weak and so was I
Let's pick it up, let's even try
To live today, so why not smile
Don't dream away your life
Cause it is mine (it is mine)
Is that a crime (is that a crime)
This life is mine

But the bed ain't made, it's filled full of hope
I've got a skin full of dope

Radiohead - "True Love Waits"
I'll drown my beliefs
To have you be in peace
I'll dress like your niece
To wash your swollen feet

Just don't leave, don't leave

And true love waits
In haunted attics
And true love lives
On lollipops and crisps

Just don't leave, don't leave

I'm not living
I'm just killing time
Your tiny hands
Your crazy kiss and smile

Just lonely, lonely
Just lonely, lonely

Iron&Wine - "Naked As We Came"
She says "wake up, it's no use pretending"
I'll keep stealing, breathing her.
Birds are leaving over autumn's ending
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes 'round the yard

She says "If I leave before you, darling
Don't you waste me in the ground"
I lay smiling like our sleeping children
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes round the yard

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 08:46:30 GMT

Warm baths with petitgrain essential oil.
Lots of extra cash from babysitting.
Feeling stable and content.
Vegetable soup and hot chocolate.
Nice music.
Nice weather!

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world.
And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!

The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say

Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony

Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

You Are 70% Grown Up, 30% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature.
Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

You Have Good Karma

In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others.
Your caring personality really shines through.
Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out.
But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark spots.

How's Your Karma?

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.
And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly.

Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.
You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful.

You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.
With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

You Are Psyche!

Eternally in search of purpose and insight.
You're curious and creative with a total sense of wonder.
Totally empathetic, you pick up on other's moods easily.
Just be sure to pamper yourself as well!

What Goddess Are You?

Listening to The Verve

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 12:24:30 GMT

Instead of going to bed after my last entry a few hours ago, I made myself a drink (Kahlúa + milk), flipped back and forth between The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Parental Control for a couple hours, then came back to my room and started looking up videos for songs by The Verve. The sky is now a nice shade of periwinkle. After this video, especially, I feel like taking acid or something and just laying in a bed/field watching the ceiling/sky. When Andrew comes home, maybe that's what we'll do.

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 09:19:53 GMT

My life is pretty uneventful, but I like that. I think I'm moving to Seattle now, still with my friend Andrew. He's coming home for Christmas, so we'll just wait it out and see what happens. Other than that, not a whole lot has been going on. Barnes&Noble relocated to the mall, which is LAME, so now all the regulars are going to have to hang out at Borders instead, which is across the street from the old B&N. That's okay though, Borders has better coffee/music/magazines/etc. It's been really cold lately though, and my jeans are pretty thin. I'm glad I didn't cut off my hair.

Oh, and I hope everything is okay with postcardx.net.

1. The perfect relationship?
Friendship.

2. Have you ever been on the television?
I was one of those little kids frantically waving at the camera whenever anything was filmed in public.

3. Do you like mustard?
On soft pretzels. Who thought of that though? So random but so good.

4. What's the last thing you bought?
A Nutty Bar for 70 cents.

5. What are you doing tomorrow?
Nothing planned, so probably sleep in, eat some food, lounge around, and go to Borders in the evening.

6. Are you a cuddler?
For sure.

7. Do you dance?
At festivals, we dance like we're having seizures.

8. What are you doing right now?
Just this survey. Man, my answers are so boring!

9. What is the last thing you purchased online?
I bought a hooded sweatshirt jacket a few years ago... It's still my favorite.

10. How's your most recent ex doing?
He just requested that I add him as a friend on Facebook. I clicked "ignore." No thank you!

11. What was your favorite activity in gym class?
Badmitton.

12. Do you have your license?
Yesss.

13. What is your favorite pizza topping?
Just cheese.

14. Have you been outside of the U.S.?
I went on a canoe trip up in Quetico when I was 13.

15. Next vacation you're going on?
It's not really a vacation, but I'm moving to Washington state!

16. What color are your sheets?
Off white with little pink rosebuds on them. They're flannel and warm, mmm.

17. What pair of shoes do you wear most often?
Black flip-flops when it's warm, reddish Converse when it's cold.

18. What is your favorite zoo animal?
Um... I don't support zoos, but I think they're all pretty interesting.

19. What was your favorite toy as a child?
I really liked baby dolls.

20. Do you have any siblings?
My older brother Keith.

21. What's your favorite breed of dog?
I don't really care as long as they're not trying to attack me.

22. Do you find yourself loved?
Yeah.

23. What is your favorite day of the year?
Probably Valentine's Day, but it's really only because I like to wear red and pink. I've never had a Valentine though.

24. Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
Forward.

25. Where was the first time you ever kissed the last person you kissed?
On his couch in his basement/bedroom.

26. If there was a fire, what would be the first thing you would grab?
My box of journals and my rabbit.

27. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
How about Kahlúa and milk?

28. Other than relatives, who have you known the longest on your top 8?
I don't do MySpace anymore!

29. Who have you known the shortest?
N/A.

30. What movie do you know every line to?
Joe Dirt, hahaha.

31. Best gift you have ever received?
I have no idea really, but I'll always remember two years ago (or maybe three) when a long-time friend had daisies sent to me. She lives a few hours away now and we rarely see each other.

32. What is your room's theme?
Well, I didn't decorate around a particular theme, but it's pretty neat. The walls are pale turquoise... It's pretty simple.

33. Have you changed much this year?
I was ready to end my life a year ago. Now I think everything is going to be okay.

34. What are you looking forward to this Summer?
Summer just ended! But next Summer, I will be on the west coast, where I'll be able to go camping all the time and maybe I'll have some solid friends by then.

35. Last cigarette?
I've never smoked one, but this summer I tried. It was no good.

36. Last alcoholic beverage?
Over a month ago. Probably a beer, but only because it was free.

37. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Yep, they're cool.

38. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Sleeping.

39. What color is your hairbrush?
It's made out of wood, so brown.

40. What was the weather like today?
Cold! And it's only getting colder :(

41. Miss anyone?
Not that much anymore.

42. Does your screen name have an "x" in it?
Nope, no numbers either. That means I win!

43. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter M?
Mom?

44. Can men and women be "Just Friends"?
Of course.

45. How do you feel about dating Co-Workers?
It depends on how serious you are about your job.

46. All expenses paid vacation to anywhere?
That would be cool.

47. Have you ever woken up drunk?
Once, but I might have still just been tripping. I wasn't sure. It was confusing.

48. Who has the sexiest accents?
Anyone from anywhere in Europe.

49. What's your occupation?
I have no job!

50. Favorite movie as a child?
I was never much of a movie person.

51. Would you consider yourself adventurous?
Sometimes.

52. Can you drive a stick?
Never tried.

53. Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?
I never skipped school until I went to college (for a month and came home).

54. What was going through your mind during your last kiss?
I'm drunk... I hope I don't regret this...

55. Do you remember what you were doing a year ago?
Working at TJ Maxx.

56. What radio station do you listen to the most?
NPR.

57. Are you on youtube?
Sometimes I check it out, but I dont have my own videos or anything.

58. Are you self conscious about your height at all?
Nope.

59. Would you ever consider moving back to your hometown?
I don't really have a hometown, but I'm all about moving forward.

60. How did you meet the last person you kissed?
At a music festival.

61. Have you ever modeled for anything?
Nope.

62. Have you ever been to California?
So many times, more than twenty. I have family in Solana Beach and Palos Verdes.

63. Where’s your top 3rd friend right now?
N/A.

64. Did you get any compliments today?
Um... no.

65. Have you ever gone to court?
Nope.

66. What cities have you lived in?
St. Louis, Manhattan (Kansas), El Paso, and Rockford.

67. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
Nope.

68. Toilet papered someone’s house?
Nope.

69. Peed standing up?
I used to piss in the shower when I was feeling lazy, hahah.

70. How good is your eyesight?
Really bad. I've had glasses since 5th grade, so like nine years.

71. What would you say if somebody told you they were in love with your significant other?
"How can you tell?" or "Maybe we can work this out as a threesome."

72. Do you drunk dial/text?
I never have, actually.

73. What was your last Halloween costume?
I dressed up as a hippie for like, four years in a row. It was the easiest costume to throw together because I didn't really have to dress up, haha.

74. Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving?
Usually we just have it at our house, but we aren't doing turkey anymore because I'm vegitarian and no one else really cares for it anyway!

75. Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe?
No :(

76. Does it snow where you live?
Usually from December-March.

77. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you shower?
My parents kept going on week-long vacations over the summer, and I started living in the nude. It was great. I definetly didn't close the door.

78. You win the $300 million power-ball lottery. What would you do?
Put it into savings and do a lot of research.

79. If you found out that you were going to be a parent, what would you do?
If it were with the last guy I was with, I'd probably have an abortion... Otherwise, I think I'd be a pretty good mother and in the future, I plan on being extremely careful.

80. You have 3 months left to live, what do you do?
I'd love to say that I'd go on lots of adventures and do all sorts of things I've always wanted to do with all the people I love, but honestly... I'd probably just keep to myself and meybe even kill myself early.

81. Have you ever talked on the phone for 5+ hours?
Maybe four hours, and not more than a couple times, and all to the same person; my uncle. He talks a LOT.

82. What color is your bra?
I have four: lavender, black, white, and beige.

83. Pretend you've had 15 beers. Describe what you would be doing right now.
It depends on how fast I drank them. I'm probably fine though, definetly fucked up, but not puking or anything. I've chugged vodka and been fine.

84. Do you like Batman?
Not really.

85. Do you swear at your parents?
I never have. It's sort of wierd, and it freaks me out when they swear.

86. Is your birthday on a holiday?
Sometimes it falls on Labor Day, but it's not like people celebrate that, do they?

87. Is there anything written on your hand right now? If so, what?
Nothing. I stopped writing on my skin when I got out of high school. I always had my assignments written up and down my arms.

88. The first thing you notice about the opposite/preferred sex?
I check out their hands. Strong bone structure always gets me too.

89. Have you ever fired a gun?
Water gun.

90. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right.

good news

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 10:38:44 GMT

I just talked to my friend in Olympia, WA, and it sounds like we might get a place together when I move out. I'm so excited, I can't explain. He's someone I've known for years because he was in my brother's class in middle school here. I was always fascinated by him for some reason. But he moved away for college and to experience life. Anyway, we talked for a few hours and I feel like a great weight has been lifted now that I know he is excited for me to come out and stay with him. I'm too happy to sleep.

I've been collecting the loose feathers from my three parakeets for a while now. I find them when I clean their cages and put them in a little bag. I think it's interesting how some of them are identical because when one feather falls out, another one replaces it.

Top row: Four belly feathers, the rest are wing feathers except the long, blue one, which is a tail feather.
Bottom row: Three wing feathers, two tail feathers, three wing feathers.

Five tail feathers and six wing feathers.

Down by the River

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 13:17:18 GMT

Today I got up early in the morning and drove around listening to NPR with a hot chai. I found these outside, wet from the morning rain:

It was 75 degrees out the other day, sunny and breezy, so I went down to the Rock River bike path for a walk and to take some pictures.

It's hard to see, but there's a plane flying low behind the branches.

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 09:16:53 GMT

I'm already behind in my class. You'd think I'd be able to handle one class twice a week, but I just lock up when I sit down to study or write an essay. My brain goes into standby. Instead, I occupy my time with laundry, dishes, baking, showers, vaccuuming, cleaning out the bird cages, and sitting in front of the computer refreshing Facebook's mini-feed and my LJ fpage. I haven't been able to finish a drawing or start a journal entry in a few weeks. My dad took a job in Gig Harbor, Washington, and he will move out there in January. My mom and I are going to stay here until the house sells. At least I know where I'll be in the next six months! Hopefully I can meet some people online before I get there!

1. Initials: JSD
2. Someone with the same birthday as you: Roger Waters (of Pink Floyd).
3. Last thing you ate: Pumpkin bread that my mom made today.
4. For or against same sex marriage: I'm for it, but I'm not a huge fan of marriage really. I think people should just be together without feeling like they need to make it official.
6. Last person you hugged: My mom :)
7. Do you believe in God?: No, never have though.
8. Number of US states have you been to: 10ish, not counting states I've driven through.
9. Number of US states have you lived in: 4.
10. Ever lived outside of the US: Nope, sadly.
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: My hair.
12. Name something non-physical you like about yourself: I can pretty much get along with anybody.
13. Your dad's name: David.
14. Why are you still up?: I always stay up really late.
15. Who made you angry today?: Nobody really.
16. Favorite type of food: Carbs, mmm.
17. Favorite holiday: Valentine's Day, but only because I love getting all dressed up in red and pink! I like to celebrate love, too.
18. Do you download music?: No. I don't really know how! I like Cds.
19. What illegal things have you done?: Drugs (weed, acid, mushrooms), underage drinking, being barefoot in public, getting on a cop's bad side once.
20. Where did you go on your first date?: A movie that we had both seen before. I wouldn't let him hold my hand or buy my ticket or anything! And he was younger than me, haaa.
21. Would you date the person who posted this before you?: I actually stole it from someone I don't know.
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?: Yes, a couple people, but not recently. Guys get a kick out of playing Julia by the Beatles for me.
23. What's your favorite state to be in?: A resting state. (I had to say it!)
24. Do you like Bush?: Not really.
25. Have you ever bungee jumped?: No! And I wouldn't.
26. Have you ever white-water rafted?: No, but I would.
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?: For sure. My favorite time was when an old man told me he liked my red hair and that he thought I should come sit with him. (My hair isn't red!).
28. Last time you were at work: In May when I quit.
29. Have you met a real redneck?: No one from the South or anything, but there are some real hicks from around here.
30. How is the weather right now?: Rainy and cold :(
31. Song you're listening to right now: Radiohead - I Might be Wrong (live).
32. Current favorite song: Devendra Banhart - I Wanna be Your Lover
33. Last movie you watched: Sometimes I watch movies that happen to be on TV, but the last one I went out of my way to see was Garden State, and it was pretty cool. I cried.
34. Do you wear contacts?: Nope! Glasses since 5th grade.
35. Last place you went: The grocery store.
36. What are you afraid of?: Being myself.
37. Number of piercings and tattoos do you have: 2 piercings (my ears, but I haven't worn earings in many years).
38. Pets you have: 1 rabbit, 1 flying squirrel, 8 fish, and 3 parakeets.
39. Have you ever loved someone?: Yes.
40. What turns you on?: Strong bone structure, beards, and good pants.
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?: Either a chai (hot) or the new pumpkin spice latte.
42. Have you ever fired a gun?: No. I can shoot an arrow though, hah.
43. Are you missing someone?: I am actually.
44. Favorite TV show?: I don't have any regulars, but if I need some mindless entertainment, MTV and VH1 always do the trick.
45. Do you have an iPod?: I got one for my birthday a few years ago and traded it for my brother's guitar.
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?: I was mistaken for Julia Stiles at a shoe store in LA. It was wierd because I was with my mom, I didn't know who Julia Stiles was, and my real name is Julia. And I don't look like her. I've also been told I look like Mary-Kate Olsen and Kate Moss.
47. Your mom's name: Sherrie.
48. Who would you like to see right now?: Anybody. Somebody I've never seen before.
49. Favorite band of all time (only one): The Grateful Dead for life!
50. Who was your last phone call?: I talked to my brother a few days ago.
51. Ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?: The only thing I can think of is when my date and I went outside during prom. We actually got kicked out! We didn't even know we weren't supposed to go outside.
52. Favorite flower?: Anything except red roses. They're just too common.
53. Buttered, plain, or salted popcorn?: Light butter, heavy salt.
54. What books are you reading?: The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle and After the Quake by Haruki Murakami.
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?: Once for a friend's birthday party in elementary school.
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?: My grandma, even though we weren't that close.
57. Do you watch MTV?: It's my late-night guilty pleasure! Parental Control and Next, to be precise. Haha.
58. Something that really bugs you: When someone tells me they will call me and that they want to hang out, and then I never hear from them.
59. Favorite hobby: Drawing strange shapes with a lot of different colors.
60. Do you like Michael Jackson?: He's nothing special in my world. Today I read that he named both of his sons Prince Michael Jackson, how lame!!
61. Last time you went bowling: Probably in 9th grade during gym class.
62. Favorite basketball team: I don't follow basketball.
63. Favorite cereal: Any kind of granola.
64. Do you drive?: Yeah, not that much though. Mostly just to class, the grocery store, and Barnes&Noble.
65. Longest time you've gone without sleep?: 56 hours during the summer after 8th grade when I told my long-time-crush how I felt. It sucked.

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 12:03:38 GMT

I've been having a lonely week, so yesterday I took myself out to take some pictures. A lot of them were too blurry to save though, so I'll have to go back soon. Mostly I want to save memories of the last few seasons I spend in this town before we move. I live behind a small college and some woods, so there are always some interesting things to take pictures of, even though nothing interesting ever goes on around here. I found this clearing down a rocky path from a parking lot behind the dorms. Here are the few that turned out okay, but I'm no photographer.

My mom and I go to Barnes&Nobles almost every night. It's our second home and everyone knows us there. They know our drinks and our names and our table and what we read. We made friends with a guy named Kurt who is 32 and shaves his head and is a painter. He paints portraits. He wears a slate-colored button-up shirt and jeans every day with black shoes. That's the thing about artists. We don't have to dress the part. And a lot of people who do dress the part aren't really artists at all, so it can be confusing. Mostly, I'm trying to view being alone as more than how being alone makes me feel. I need to be okay with being alone. Someday maybe I'll find someone to spend my days with, I hope.

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 01:55:54 GMT

First real entry? I finished my 13th paper journal over the weekend and started another, so I guess that's where all my thoughts have been. I turned 19 on the 6th but didn't really celebrate, which is fine. I'm mostly happy that I survived another year. Things have been pretty peaceful around here. My parents are relocating to Washington state sometime within a year, and there's no reason for me to stay in Illinois, so I'm moving along with them, which is really exciting. We will be in the Seattle-area as far as I know, but I might move to Portland, Oregon. I've never been to either state, and I only know one person out there. He went to high school with my brother and moved to Olympia, WA for college and worked on an organic farm. I'm happy that there will be more camping and canoeing opportunities! I'm excited to walk around the streets and meet people just sitting on the curb.

I'll post some interesting pictures as soon as I take some, which won't happen until I either get some more batteries for my digital camera or get my film developed. But I will get around to it and make this journal more interesting!