Current mood:	not well
Current music:	birds squacking outside

Getting Nowhere
I don't want to get up today. It's not that I'm just too comfortable or that there's nothing I have to do today, because I'm in a sleeping bag on the floor and I need to find a job, it's that I don't want to face the responsibilities of being awake. Last night all five of the people living in this house were here, so we tried to have a house meeting. It ended up with a lot of personal issues, personal attacks, and hurt feelings. I don't want to go downstairs and pretend I don't care that two of my own housemates ganged up on me last night about a sensitive subject.

I'm going back to Illinois with my dad on a plane for the last week of March. It's not for a while, but I'm really excited to see my mom. I'm trying so hard to be strong and not have an emotional breakdown. Some nights it feels impossible and I go to my room early and cry into my pillow.

I've decided, without knowing my actual current weight, that I need to lose some weight. My favorite jeans are too tight to button comfortably. I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day and hot chocolate more than once a day. It must be adding up across my waist.

Things I Need to Do
get a job
get a bed (if I want to stay in this house)
lose enough weight for my pants to fit
clean the blood off the carpet
think harder about what my life is to me
make some decisions